Monday, July 13, 2009

Good-Bye Maw-Maw

Most of my younger childhood memories involve my Maw-Maw, she always called me her little sidekick. I got the call that I have been dreading this morning, that she was in the hospital and would not make it through the day. I sat at home waiting to hear updates, hoping for that miracle that she could hold on a little while longer. She was ready to go, I know that, but I cannot picture going on in my life without seeing her, physically, she has always been there. I would walk into Poppa and Nani's house and there she would be at the kitchen table doing those crosswords, she knew almost all the answers and would even help me in my EASY crosswords.

When mom called me in the afternoon to let me know of her passing, I had a flash of sitting at her table when I was very young (2 or 3 maybe) and she was sitting next to me singing Our Blue Heaven--Just Joey and me--and momma makes three--we're happy in our blue heaven. She was the one who scolded me when I was 4 and stole the WHO SHOT JR? TV Guide from the grocery store (I loved JR and wanted that TV Guide with his picture so bad). I know I was a handful for her when she would take me shopping or out in public, I liked to wander and I am pretty sure I contributed to a few white hairs on her head.

When I think of Maw-Maw, I think of a very gentle soul. She got her feelings hurt very easily, she was exactly what you picture love to feel like, she always had nice things to say and showered each of us with kindness and unconditional love. She was a beautiful person and that is hard to find, everything about my Maw-Maw was extraordinary.

I feel a complete loss right now, I am emotionally sick and that is new to me, I have never felt that before. I know she lived a long, good life, but I want her here with us! I know she is with Paw-Paw, who she has missed for almost 32 years--they have both been waiting for this day for a long time. Please take care of her Paw-Paw, she is a very special person!

I am glad you are no longer stuck in bed, I know it has been very hard for you and it was hard for everyone to see you there. You are in a place where you can walk again, you don't have to worry if your "ear" is in or your "legs" are on, all your pain has dissipated--you are free to do as you like, when you like and that makes me happy.

Please stand by my side, I still need you. I am glad to know you are watching over me and my family. I am proud of you and always have been, you were the Maw-Maw most could only dream of. You gave me not only you, but a great Nani, and from her, a great mother. You are the link to our family, you started our chain and we will continue to add to it.

The people we love, we think about them living forever, even though, we know that is not possible, our minds do not let us comprehend their passing. When they are gone, it's hard to see a bright future right away, but it will come, I know she wants us all to celebrate her, she didn't like any of us sad. So for the next week, her life will be celebrated, her death will be mourned. I know you have a lot of catching up to do with those who have passed before you, tell everyone hi and wait for me, I will be waiting for the day I can wrap my arms around your neck and kiss your lips and smell the special "Maw-Maw scent", wait for me because I will be looking forward to that day.

Peanuts sitting on a railroad track
Their hearts were all a-flutter
Around the bend came a #10
"TOOT TOOT" Peanut Butter

Maw-Maw would sing that to Taylor and Jimmy. They both loved that! Thank you Maw-Maw, for all you have done for me throughout my life. I love you and miss you!

Anna Jean Moss Underwood
November 1, 1925-July 12, 2009

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