Good-Bye Maw-Maw

Most of my younger childhood memories involve my Maw-Maw, she always called me her little sidekick. I got the call that I have been dreading this morning, that she was in the hospital and would not make it through the day. I sat at home waiting to hear updates, hoping for that miracle that she could hold on a little while longer. She was ready to go, I know that, but I cannot picture going on in my life without seeing her, physically, she has always been there. I would walk into Poppa and Nani's house and there she would be at the kitchen table doing those crosswords, she knew almost all the answers and would even help me in my EASY crosswords.

When mom called me in the afternoon to let me know of her passing, I had a flash of sitting at her table when I was very young (2 or 3 maybe) and she was sitting next to me singing Our Blue Heaven--Just Joey and me--and momma makes three--we're happy in our blue heaven. She was the one who scolded me when I was 4 and stole the WHO SHOT JR? TV Guide from the grocery store (I loved JR and wanted that TV Guide with his picture so bad). I know I was a handful for her when she would take me shopping or out in public, I liked to wander and I am pretty sure I contributed to a few white hairs on her head.

When I think of Maw-Maw, I think of a very gentle soul. She got her feelings hurt very easily, she was exactly what you picture love to feel like, she always had nice things to say and showered each of us with kindness and unconditional love. She was a beautiful person and that is hard to find, everything about my Maw-Maw was extraordinary.

I feel a complete loss right now, I am emotionally sick and that is new to me, I have never felt that before. I know she lived a long, good life, but I want her here with us! I know she is with Paw-Paw, who she has missed for almost 32 years--they have both been waiting for this day for a long time. Please take care of her Paw-Paw, she is a very special person!

I am glad you are no longer stuck in bed, I know it has been very hard for you and it was hard for everyone to see you there. You are in a place where you can walk again, you don't have to worry if your "ear" is in or your "legs" are on, all your pain has dissipated--you are free to do as you like, when you like and that makes me happy.

Please stand by my side, I still need you. I am glad to know you are watching over me and my family. I am proud of you and always have been, you were the Maw-Maw most could only dream of. You gave me not only you, but a great Nani, and from her, a great mother. You are the link to our family, you started our chain and we will continue to add to it.

The people we love, we think about them living forever, even though, we know that is not possible, our minds do not let us comprehend their passing. When they are gone, it's hard to see a bright future right away, but it will come, I know she wants us all to celebrate her, she didn't like any of us sad. So for the next week, her life will be celebrated, her death will be mourned. I know you have a lot of catching up to do with those who have passed before you, tell everyone hi and wait for me, I will be waiting for the day I can wrap my arms around your neck and kiss your lips and smell the special "Maw-Maw scent", wait for me because I will be looking forward to that day.

Peanuts sitting on a railroad track
Their hearts were all a-flutter
Around the bend came a #10
"TOOT TOOT" Peanut Butter

Maw-Maw would sing that to Taylor and Jimmy. They both loved that! Thank you Maw-Maw, for all you have done for me throughout my life. I love you and miss you!



Anna Jean Moss Underwood
November 1, 1925-July 12, 2009

Uploaded - 6\11\09

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Uploaded - 6\8\09

Eric and Jimmy posing behind behind a shark jaw at Disney's Typhoon Lagoon.

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Just A Test

Mobile Blogging from here.

I am just playing with my iPhone blogger app. Let's see if this works!

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I Need to Vent

I know most of the people who read my blog are friends and family, this is not aimed at you in any way. Some of you are Christian some are Pagan like myself, but we all love each other and everyone who knows me (really knows me), knows that I am a good person, not evil. I have never threw my religion in any one's face, I am happy to discuss my beliefs or explain how I live but I would never ask you to join me, this is a personal preference and a way I live my life, I do not expect anyone to walk my path of the craft. I am happy in my life but sick of everyone thinking I'm sacrificing and worshiping something that I don't believe even exists. I don't believe in the devil, that is the evil side of Christianity, I am not Christian, therefore the devil (Satan) has no place in my life. I feel like I repeat myself over and over again, I do not live my life like the Hollywood movies, those are make believe. I do not practice "black magick" or voodoo, I live my life in peace and serenity. I am a Witch, a Kitchen Witch at that, most of my magick is performed while I make meals and that's good enough for me. Lisa, I am going to use you as an example because you are the most Christian person I know. We don't agree religion wise but as friends--lets just say family--we respect each other and love each other even though you live your life by Jesus and I live mine by the Goddess, I just wish everyone could do that. I keep getting messages from old friends telling me I am going to hell and I know some of you probably think I am and that is fine, I just don't want to hear it. Today, someone told me if I just went to church I would feel the warmth of love that would surround me unlike the pure evil I live with now. OMG...are you serious? Evil? I asked them to please explain the word evil for me and have yet to hear back.

Everyone that knows me knows that I could give a rats ass about what people think. I am Joey, I do what I want, no one ever tells me what to do or else they would be waiting on whatever it is a very long time--Mom and Eric can validate that one. My husband learned a long time ago that there is no changing me, trust me he tried. There is no one in this life time that will ever have any control over what I do, you either roll with me or roll away and I'll accept or wave goodbye, no hard feeling afterwards on my part. My kids are the only exception to this rule, my children are number 1 and they both have me wrapped around their finger and I am proud of that--they are not spoiled just very loved. I have seen friends come and go, I have close friends that never judge and then I have those that tend to throw hissy fits like five year olds, I don't play those games and sure enough they are no longer in my life and do I ever think about them, sure I do, I wish them the best in life but I am sure glad they are not in mine. I know that sounds bad but I refuse to put up with any ones shit. I am a fighter and I never lose--EVER, I learned that from my Mom and I am glad she gave me that backbone, it has come in handy several time in my life.

I know you are all probably think "What the hell" but like I said I just needed to get this off my chest and just want my followers that this is not directed to any of you. I love you all and am happy that I have you guys in my life. I am just sick of the ignorance that others have.

There's A Snake in My Pool!

Taylor decided to take a dip this only to come running in the house to tell me there was a snake at the bottom of the pool. I went out to take a look and sure enough it laid at the bottom of the deep end. I know snakes can swim but it probably couldn't get out once it got in. I fished it out and it was dead. Jimmy grabbed it and ran across the street to the neighbor's to show his friend Nicky. Here they stand in front of our house posing with the snake. It is now buried in my landscaping out front.

A Beach Trip

I took the kids to the beach yesterday morning and we had so much fun. I did some laying out and they played in the water and in the sand. I think we may have to do this more often over the summer, maybe take turns with water parks. They buried each other in the sand and made themselves into mermaids. Eric had a meeting in Clearwater that day so I decided to drop him off at the store there and spend the day in Indian Rock with the kids until he was finished, it worked out great so this may be a new tradition when Eric goes to his ICP meetings. Once we got home both kids jumped in the pool while I sat in the shade, I ended up a bit red from the beach rays.

Eric and Jimmy Working on the Pool

With the rain adding water to the pool our skimmer was not doing it's job. Eric and Jimmy played with it for awhile yesterday. It ended up we needed less water in the pool for it to do it's job.

I Got Out

Eric took the kids and I out to diner last night, it was nice to get out of the house other than just running to the store. He surprised us with Red Lobster and I thought we were headed to Cracker Barrel. While eating, our little princess, Taylor, just couldn't stand that the mall was right next to us that she begged her daddy to take her, of course, he said yes. She shopped to her little hearts content, Tokio Hotel t-shirts, Tokio Hotel DVD (this DVD is all in German but she doesn't really care as long as she can see Bill), necklaces, earrings, jeans. I never thought puppy dog eyes would get to my husband but I was so wrong, what Taylor wants, Taylor gets. I tried to shop myself but clothes are so ugly and without a Guess store in Lakeland, I always walk away empty handed. Brandon Mall has a G by Guess but it's more club wear than anything so I am stuck having to drive to Tampa for clothes. Jimmy found some FRED shirts at Hot Topic but they were out of his size so I promised to take him back. His obsession with FRED is pretty cute, he giggles the whole time he watches the videos on YouTube, sometimes he even laugh so hard you can't hell laughing with him.

Eric, wanders around the mall following his daughter from shop to shop, Taylor eating up the fact that Daddy is doing this all for her. Jimmy usually walks around with me, pointing out different clothes he thinks I should buy for me or him. We went into Body Shop yesterday, I love the catalogue but the store never has the same things, he wanted necklaces, rings, a dress and shoes. He doesn't understand these won't fit him or else he just doesn't care.

Today I will be studying a bit while laying out and then I have to prepare for our cookout tomorrow. I am not sure everything I will be making but I am confident I will have a good feast!

Newest Arrivals

Matt with Lauren, Macie & Cole

Becky with her three children

Andy Ray

Vinney with his new brother

He is so tiny

Still Missing Dooley

I have had Uncle Mike on my mind a lot for the past week. It doesn't matter what I am doing, he pops up and I have that instant good feeling and then it hits me he is no longer on this Earth. I have had loved ones and friends that have passed on but none had left such an emptiness in me. I can't even describe how I loved to see him, my excitement, he was just that special uncle. I remember walking in to Dooley's on many occasions and he would give that quick smile, say hello, then go back to whatever he was doing at the time. That was fine with me. I remember sitting and talking with him, his long legs crossed and a cigarette in hand, I wish I could see that one more time. I always feel better sitting graveside, I place a lit cigarette on his headstone (whichever letter will hold it up), I light one for myself and I have a smoke with Mike and I talk to him, tell him how my life's going and of course how much he is missed.

For those who loved Mike, I know we are still mourning, maybe not like the first year but we still have the Dooley emptiness. I love him, I didn't tell him that enough but I know he knows. Suicide leaves us with some many questions that will never be answered, it breaks my heart that he was feeling so much pain that he had to walk away. My kids and I dealt with it twice that year just a few months apart, two people that we were very close to.

Mike, I know the Summerlands have welcomed you with open arms and you are figuring out what your life meaning was. Hopefully now you can see all the support and love you had around you, we would have helped anyway we could, you are that special to us. I will see you again, I can't say when that will be but I know you come to me in dreams and they are the best dreams I have, I am always fighting to stay asleep so I can have that extra time with you. I love and miss you, you are remembered forever!

Productive Day

Taylor, Jimmy and I cracked down and got the house totally clean today. It's never bad but we did the things we usually skip over: windows, baseboards, walls. Eric was pretty impressed when he came home. I am not a house cleaner, he does the majority of the cleaning and I don't ever touch laundry, not my thing. It's not that I don't do anything, I do pick up and wipe down counters and tables but he just gives everything that extra sparkle (okay, that is what Taylor tells him but I am using it in this post). He does laundry, I fold and put it away. I cook, he and Taylor clean afterward, you get the picture. We usually split the floor duty on the weekends, he'll do a room and I'll do another, it works for us.

Eric had some meetings to attend today and a couple sales calls but arrived home early. He was able to get the lawn mowed and drain the pool yet again. It rained a bit when we ran to get gas for the mower but was finished by the time we arrived home. Next weekend we will be mulching the landscape and planting a few more flowers. I have a beautiful hibiscus plant out front and would really like to get another one, out of everything that is my favorite. I may buy a few plants to stick out in the pool area (yes mom, that will be just for you).

Jimmy finally got the opportunity to play outside today but him and Nicky kept going from our house to his, I don't think they played out at all. He spent the evening on YouTube watching Fred. Fred is a huge icon in this house and the kids can't wait for a new video to show up, but they rewatch the old ones over and over. For those who don't know Fred, he is a teenage boy who plays a 6-year-old boy who is often left home alone--pretty funny but his voice (chipmunk-like) gets on your nerves after awhile. You should check him out at least once, you'll get a laugh.

Steph was getting out of the hospital today and planned on taking Andy to visit MawMaw and Nani. They are both doing well. Stephanie, you have two beautiful children.

I really don't have too much going on at the time. Eric's surgery is scheduled for July 21, so we are preparing for that. I still ahven't decided if we will take the kids with us or have them stay home, I'm leaning more towards taking them just in case Eric needs to stay in Tampa, he has to return early the next morning to have a tube removed the day after surgery. Well, that's my post for the evening, goodnight all.

Start of Memorial Day Weekend

I was wanting to take the kids to Disney this weekend but with the rain I don't see it happening. We haven't been to Disney since Easter so we need to get back soon. That had to be the best purchase we could have got fr our family, we will continue to do so in the upcoming years as well. We have talked about switching the parks every year, there is enough of them around to do that.

We are having a cook out Monday and were hoping for a pool party as well but they are calling for more rain so the cookout is on but we may have to stay inside.

I will be spending today and tomorrow working on candles. I am thinking about having a sale again next week to try and get Tucker and his family some money. I thought the Candles by Scorpio site would do better but I still haven't gotten a response so I will try a different tactic.

I hope everyone has a safe Memorial Day! Love you all!

I'm LOST

Okay, it's Wednesday night and I have been feeling something is missing. I wander around the house not knowing what to do, I cook dinner and I am taking my time-there is no rush tonight, I sit down to eat and have the sudden feeling that there are so many unanswered questions. What is my problem? Oh yeah, it's Wednesday night and LOST isn't on. I will have nothing to talk about with my mom tomorrow morning, maybe not tomorrow morning (because I am sure she will have a lot to talk about with Andy being born), but what about the rest of Thursday mornings until the new season? I need my LOST fix bad. I guess I will resort to pulling out the box sets and watching them until fall or winter, whenever they decide to bring the show back.

Next season will be the last. I have been hooked on the show since it came out and the thought of not having it just crushes me. I figured out by the third season what the show is about, it's not people LOST on an island that cannot be found by radars, it is the viewers that are home that are the ones lost, if you miss one episode you are just screwed (lost), there is no hope for you and I hope you set that DVR because you will not figure it out until you watch the hour catch up, who knows how long you'll have to wait for that. It's a great show, I would say one of the best I have ever watched. I love all the characters, even the ones you hate you love, if that makes any sense.

In the ending we see the island's bomb explode (of course it was in the year 1977) what happens? If the people of the island die in 1977, what will become of them now? Will it end up being like Jake Chambers in Stephen King's Dark Tower series, where he dies in one year but is still living in the future and the flashes of his past make him go crazy in the future? I know, that one is very confusing but if you read the books you understand--if you haven't read the series you need to, it's well worth the seven books and if I were you I would buy the hard cover so they last longer, you will want to read it at least one more time. I don't know if I even understand what I just wrote, I guess it sounded better in my head lol.

Anyway, I guess I need to find something to keep me busy on Wednesday until the show starts back up. One more note for Thursday since Grey's Anatomy had it's season finale, I knew Katherine and T.R. were leaving the show, I could deal with that. Izzy (Katherine's role) found out she had cancer and I think we all knew she would die at the end of the series, but George (T.R.) are you f**king serious? Come on now, you made us sit and watch some John Doe come in on a stretcher, face unrecognizable and all of us too consumed with Izzy didn't really pay any attention to Mr. John Doe. We felt sorry for the poor guy but had no connection. At the very end, Meredith had already voiced that he probably wouldn't make it through surgery, so now we are really disconnected and then BAM!!! 007--OMG, it's George, John Doe is George, seriously, seriously! That was a low blow and I know I am not the only one (Mom and Kyle) to sit in my living room screaming, "NO, NOT GEORGE, NOT GEORGE, NO,NO,NO!!!!!!!!" At least you could of gave us some warning Ms. Chandra. By the time Richard said he sent him home to visit with his mom we didn't even have time to make the connection, it was over at that point. So, in the ending of my rant I will say it one more time--"NOT GEORGE!"

Introducing Andy Ray

Andyn Ray Maucelli Marshall was born at 1:15 p.m. today. I don't remember all his stats but I know he weighed over 8 lbs. Stephi and baby are doing great, I talk to my sister a few minutes ago and she sounded tired but in good spirits. I know she is happy to finally be able to hold him. Congratulations Stephanie Jo, he is beautiful.

Coleton Eli Weeks

I want to say congrats to Matt and Becky on the arrival of their new baby boy, Coleton Eli born on April 1, 2009. I know I am a little late on this but you have a beautiful baby and I wish you both the best. Macie and Lauren are now big sisters!

New Arrival Tomorrow

Tomorrow will be the arrival of my new nephew Andyn Joseph Maucelli Marshall. Vinney will become a big brother but I am not so sure he is going to be thrilled about this, so we will have to wait and see. Steph, I wish you the best tomorrow and I know you are so excited to see your new baby. I am sending all my love to you!

Rainy Day

Well, the rain has finally found Florida, it's been a long time, seems like a couple years since we have had a really good rain, but the last few days have been nothing but. The grass is green again and sprouting up, it's humid still but with a nice cool breeze. Eric filled the pool up last week (hate the water bill after doing that) only to have to drain water out the other day, it was actually overflowing after a six inch rainfall. The kids and I did some running around this afternoon and I have to add I hate automatic windshield wipers. They seem really cool when the salesman is telling you about them but today they were so off, when it was pouring driving 70 mph on the highway they are at the slowest speed then stop at a light and they are going as fast as they can--go figure.

Taylor is now at that grand age where she never ventures out of her bedroom except to eat. She sits in that room with her TV, radio, ipod, I guess admiring her hundreds of posters of her favorite boys. She spends most of the evening on the telephone chatting about the boys she is admiring and every once in awhile she'll pop her head out to tell her brother to shut up or ask Eric or myself if she can have Emily spend the night or vice versa. I remember those days so well.

Jimmy, on the other hand, is a terror if it is raining outside and he isn't able to go out. I heard "I am so bored" about a billion times today. He also becomes so clingy and talkative, it's nice for about the first hour or so and then I start feeling the need for a little quiet. He wouldn't even take five minutes of TV before he was back and some of the time he brought his DS down with him and not only was he talking and showing me what he was doing in his game but the darn thing would be blaring. So, on days like this I am taking very deep breathes and telling myself he just needs some companionship so I do what I am suppose to, sit down with him on my lap and watch his video games or listen to everything he has to say. I know the day is soon coming where he will be behind his closed door, so I will enjoy the time he needs me around him.

There is no greater blessing in life than our children.

Candles By Scorpio

http://www.candlesbyscorpio.blogspot.com

I have decided to help out the Bryant Family through my candle sales. I don't make much profit off them but I know every little bit will count. I have had a good response since I have started making the candles and what better way to help out Tucker and his family. Please check out the site and if you see anything you would like please email me:

candlesbyscorpio@aol.com

A portion of profit will be sent to the Bryant's on a monthly basis.

Jimmy's Day

Eric and I took Jimmy to Hannah Montana The Movie this afternoon and he loved it. The movie wasn't bad, Eric and I both found ourselves laughing during it but watching Jimmy singing and dancing while watching was even better. Taylor spent the night with Emily last night so we decided today would be a fun day with just Jimmy and it was. After leaving the theater we drove past the pond at the mall and Jimmy got to see the alligator swimming around, he was so excited and couldn't stop asking all the questions he could think of about alligators and sharks. Lately, Jimmy has become very interested in sharks and watches a lot of the Discovery Channel and Animal Planet hoping to see a new show on them. He has also gotten to a stage where he asks "Why?" Since he didn't talk much at three he is now making up for the why stage he missed, he has to know everything and more and I have to say, he absorbs all the info we give him. He is very technical these days and wants just the facts, not the jokes myself and Daddy like to give him about what he asks, he becomes very adjudicated with us if we do not provide what he is wanting to know.

A Few of Myself

Eric took this pic right before we went out

My newest tat for Jimmy

My bedroom swallows me

Eric took some pictures of me before a party so I am adding them on as well. I had my hair cut a few weeks ago and have played with it until I found a style that I liked and this is it.

Check out Eric's natural socks LOL

I have no clue what he is doing

Eric finally got the pool to himself yesterday and he converted back to an eight year old. I had a lot of laughs watching him and I have to say I haven't seen him have that much fun in a long time. I took a couple movies that I wish I could show but with Eric down another 30 pounds his trunks kept slipping and all you could see was is white butt, lol, pretty funny but I don't think he would appreciate me showing the world. I just like to see the water blue again. Our pump went out and the water started to turn green, but we have an awesome pool guy that shocked it back in no time and with a new pump and filter we shouldn't have any problems for awhile.

Buddy

Eric has become quite the photographer with the cat. I will take pics off my camera to only find an endless supply of Buddy. Eric and I have always had a cat or two in the house but I have never seen him take to one like this. He talks about Buddy to whoever will listen, even complete strangers. If Eric is home Buddy is on him either watching T.V. or napping. Buddy hates smoke so the only time he is not around Eric is when we are outside for a smoke break, he'll lay on the other side of the pool. When Eric is working in the yard he is calling Buddy outside like a dog and the damn cat just lays in the bushes and watches him.

We all love Buddy though, not just Eric. He is one of a kind and has brought a lot of joy into our home, he has even started taking to Jimmy which says a lot when it comes to animals.